#(it was held at my parents house)
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if i failed to protect my kid during the apocalypse and they almost died wandering on their own but got rescued by a team of four competent, battle-experienced adults who cared about them very much and made them feel less scared and useless but refused to let them fight, i think that would be a pretty decent outcome and i'd be pretty okay with it. sure i could dream up a better situation but there's a hell of a lot of worse ones too.
#it's not like they took bonnie away from a safe lil village.. bonnie was on the verge of collapse!!#and no village is safe!!!!#better traveling to the place that will be last to freeze than left at some village that will freeze sooner#(and we can guess than nille agrees‚ since she and bonnie did not wait in bambouche to be frozen)#better ready for battle behind a team of fighters than caught unawares among people who have never fought#(regular people are obviously struggling right now - even nille failed to protect bonnie)#even with the king#if the party fails the land is frozen ANYWAY#is it really better to leave bonnie in dormont? distraught‚ abandoned? being held back from following by strangers?#is that really a better moment to be stuck in for eternity?#yeah maybe something worse would happen in the house#but sadnesses could attack the village too!#taking bonnie with them is absolutely a reasonable decision given all of the circumstances#i may be biased by my own nille characterization#HOWEVER#this is also my opinion as a parent u^u#like i might still be freaking out about it#but htat's. inevitable no matter WHAT it is that happened#bonnie WAS stuck in a bad situation and even the best solutions can't undo that#so yeah i'd be WORRIED#but i'd also be grateful the people who found my kid were decent folks who tried their best and did quite well all things considered#😭😭😭😭#thoughts#thoughts about bonnie#isat talk#i'm sick of not being able to fandom tag my posts that i don't want to put in the fandom tag so there now it's filterable lol
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family sentai big brothers - an observation
#fiveman#magiranger#gogov#gaku - thoughtful/placid/beloved aniki#makito - romantic/nurturing/beloved aniki#matoi - bastard#i kid lmao i fucking love matoi so much this is a matoi stan account my boy has done nothing wrong in his life ever#ANYWAY#i have so many feelings about these boys its not funny#gaku lost both his parents but he always had arthur#he shouldered a lot of the emotional burden but he was never “left to raise his siblings”#makito lost his dad young and became “the man of the house” but again - he always had his mum#he never had to be 'dad' - at least not until he was already an adult#BUT MATOI#matoi's parents left. they left and he didnt know if or when either of them were going to come back.#so to deal with it he held on to the family he has left and he holds on too tight and he suffocates them but he's doing his fucking BEST#i will defend matoi until the day i die tbh#2023 art tag
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i think i got very lucky with my parents :,)
#everytime i think they don’t understand how im feeling they always do something that proves me wrong#we were planning to stay over at a relatives house and then we had dinner on their bed that we were supposed to sleep in and my fear of food#and fear of contamination couldn’t deal with that so i told my dad over whatsapp and he said okay then we’ll go :(#also i was feeling very tearful one morning and i called my dad upstairs and asked him to take me to a mental health professional because i#was on the verge of a panic attack and he sat next to me while i ate and took me to a doctor immediately after:(#because i ran out of my medicine#my mom is the same :( she actively tries to get me out of situations where food is involved like if my cousins ate something and didn’t wash#their hands afterwards she makes me sit in the front seat of the car so nothing accidentally touches me and flares up my obsessive thoughts#and anxiety :(#i feel so bad when they do this because i feel so fucking stupid for feeling like this in the first place but it does feel very very real#and dangerous:( i don’t know how to stop:(#like if anyone eats i feel so happy for them but if i make contact with them i feel physically disgusting#so if other people eat in their bed i’m fine with that but i just can’t sleep in that bed afterwards#my parents are the same people who held me in their arms and cried with me when i said i really really wanted them to let me die:(#so i really really love them :(#✉️
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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Turned 19 on the 20th this week and anyways imagine A BIRTHDAY WITH THE GHOST??? HELLOO?????
They’d all be so sweet about it- TvT like a lot of the gifts would be handmade definitely, that or it took them a while to find the perfect thing to get you while on the run / getting supplies and everything-
And the food?? Amazing-
Different types of food from different cultures and different planets-
It’d be so nice- TvT
#star wars rebels x reader#the ghost crew x reader#ezra bridger x reader#sabine wren x reader#hera syndulla x reader#kanan jarrus x reader#garazeb orrelios x reader#x reader#platonic!garazeb orrelios x reader#platonic!kanan jarrus x reader#platonic!hera syndulla x reader#platonic!ezra bridger x reader#platonic!sabine wren x reader#platonic!reader#platonic x reader#my birthday was nice but#plan w / friend was canceled#rest of friends back to college#siblings not there for it bc of school + at different parents’ houses#rain#headache for most of the morning#got a cool new sketchbook though- :00#no cake either bc money tight#held it together bc my mom wanted me to have a good day#still kinda sad about it tbh but it’s fine#i need to write more oml#work has me low on motivation and I am only working part time lmao
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:)
#went on a date last night!!!#i technically don’t need to whisper abt this bc i was an angel and did not take off ANY of my clothes#but it was a rly good first date!!!#we were giggling and flirting and he’s cute and interesting and he likes me#he was rly affectionate like kissed my noggin several times when we were waiting at crosswalks#bc he’s tall he’d just bend down n plant one on my forehead or smth it was rly sweet#however i have learned that men deploy the forehead kiss for psychological warfare so i am keeping my skeptic pants on#but we just talked about soooo much like we have so many lore drops#i even told him abt my heyday on here n writing fics and that one time i got canceled#and he walked me home and we held hands and made out at my building entrance#he’s german by birth but not genetically? i think his parents are egyptian#he seems to have money…..so……that’s nice…….#i’m coming to terms w the fact that my capricorn mars in my 2nd house means i am materialistic and that is okay#i had to pay for the drinks bc it was cash only and his ATM card wasn’t working#but he venmoed me MORE than the total#i can be bought!#but i’m going home on thursday for like a week and now im anxious abt object permanence#it’ll be fine i think he did rly like me or hes one smooth criminal#he was sooooo good at making me feel wanted verbally and physically#like he was a real sweetie pants and complimented me a lot#and i liked talking to him sooo much he had interesting perspectives on things#and he was never condescending#basically!!! i am teeheeing today#would love a crush we shall see
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One new discovery I’ve made about Laika is that the one fear I can’t get her to overcome is small children
#she’s been getting a lot better about existing around strangers when we walk#and when people ask I just explain she isn’t aggressive but she’s skittish so you have to go slow#because I want to desensitize her to noise and people and she’s doing very well#not a lot of people have asked though#but the one thing she is terrified of im realizing is children#she doesn’t bite and she gives me no reason to ever think she will#but she gets panicky when they’re around#even just walking past them#a little girl was out with her parents and asked if she could pet her. she had been okay so I said sure#but that she’s very shy and to be calm. the little girl came up and as soon as she held out her hand laika jumped backwards#there’s a family with three kids whose house we walk past and they ignore us and I ignore them#(unless I catch them or their parents’ eye and then I just wave and smile)#but if they’re outside playing she starts choking herself trying to get away#like she will go from perfectly walking beside me with no tension on the leash#to desperately trying to get down the hill and to our house#kids are definitely an issue for her#she’s doing great in other areas. she’s better about letting my dad pet her. she’ll walk past moving cars without flattening herself#to the ground#theres a house with two collies that like to bark when we go by#and she went from doing the same thing (tucking her tail and flattening herself to the ground)#to walking by them. ignoring them completely (it’s not like she barks back. she’s wholly uninterested in other dogs being around)#(the only reaction I got was avoidance but like I said she’s doing better#muttnik
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🥲
#I just want to write somewhere because i'm excited#two of my friends are getting married this summer (to each other)#the bride has a... complicated relationship with her very nasty mother and frankly her dad too#and these people don't have money so they're staying at my friends' house for the wedding#the house is also where the wedding is being held#so unless my friends want to spend THEIR WEDDING NIGHT in the same very small house as her unpleasant parents#they have to get a hotel#but we live in a tourist hotspot and we're not wealthy by any means and hotels are expensive#so about 20 of us who are friends with this couple got together and each chipped in about $50 so they can have two nights#at a cute little boutique hotel#and not spend the night before or of their wedding in a very small house with her unpleasant parents#and I'm just happy we could do that for them#they deserve the world#but we'll have to settle for a couple nights in a hotel#anyway sometimes nice things happen and sometimes we make nice things happen for the ones we love#alone none of us could have afforded that#but together we could make something happen
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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Me and @azrail-has-a-vendetta have this friend that we shall call S. S is 17 years old, a full-time highschool students. They do marching band year-round and love it. They also have a younger sibling and their parents are both working full time.
S has to babysit their younger brother five days a week from 3:30 to 7:30. That's 20 hours a week, every week for the entire school year -- it's a part-time job, and on top of everything else, they don't get paid.
Sure, I agree that watching your siblings occasionally usually doesn't involve any money (at least in my case), but S is working a part-time job babysitting their younger brother. They have no free time, they have almost no social life because their entire time is spent at school, at marching band, and babysitting. Without pay.
Their mom says that she is paying S by paying for their marching band costs, but we need to take a second to do the math.
Total costs of marching band during the school year: $800 dollars.
Divide that by the 36 weeks of school and you're paying $23 a week.
The average babysitters wage in our state is $15 an hour. $15 x 20 hours a week is $300. Times that by 36 and you have $10,800 of babysitting money.
Literally a part-time job that is hurting S's social life, keeping them from having a job, overwhelming them to the point of extreme burnout and impedes on child labor laws, and they are getting paid in the form of an extracurricular activity.
#I'm angry about this#child labor#is this okay?#I don't think it is#I have held S in my arms as they have a panic attack because they are so overworked and have literally no free time#they can't do anything because of how often they're babysitting#ugjhkgjkhg#in my family i'll babysit my siblings when I'm asked because my parents pay for literally everything I could need#they pay for anything I could need and all they ask is that I get good grades and pull my weight around the house#If you're going to have children then their wellbeing should be your top priority#especially because one of them isn't allowed to be a teen because they need to step up for the parents#this ain't okay
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FUCK YOUR FATHER FUCK YOUR FATHER FUVK YOUR FATHWR FU--
#final one tonight (and the one i was looking for when i found the other one i was initially looking for)#(in my. fucking. folder.)#this has to be book 1??? i'm certain it is (shot taken revisiting prev books)#still like. this is so fuvked up. like. it's been so long and so it's easy to forget (esp w gustav being canonically dead now)#but like. imagine having a parent who refuses to fucking talk to you in your own fucking house#just cause they disagree w a choice you made.#and like as i say that i know for some people they don't have to imagine. severely fucked up and i'm so sorry.#UGH..... IT'S JUST...... SO UNFATHOMABLY CRUEL.#oh but he's just strict. a stern father figure. dude shut up i'm gonna throw up LMFAOOOOO#also not to be queer about it but oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. FUCK#there are many reasons alfonse fire emblem makes me insane and unwell and this js one of them#to me he's like. def queer but not in a way where it's visible. heavily influenced/defined by his agab and how he was raised due to it.#he has Just Enough things going for him to make it so he has done Everything Right.#and yet. that does not free him from SO many horrors. in a way he's punished for it. but it's all he's ever known.#it's normal. he's normal. everything is normal. this is just how it's supposed to be.#i'm going to chew on his arm. gnaw at his fuvking shoulders. have him sit on my lap and be held.#for once in his fuckinh life.#what thw fuck ever man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPLODE ‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#fe alfonse
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posting on here really is just being expected to say ‘sorry for being desensitized by facing daily, real life homophobia and the constant threat of being killed for being a faggot-tranny to where i forgot to take into consideration that youre gonna be a whiny bitch about me making a light-hearted joke about a fictional character on my own blog’ while not feeling sorry at all.
#i was gonna leave this alone but this has been in my drafts for SO long and every day its proven more true#like sorry but me having a loaded gun held to my head and being quizzed on if im a faggot and deserve to be killed because#‘god will understand’ by my parents (whom i see every day) and having to be convincing enough that im ‘not’#and living where the state laws are actively harmful and doesn't have any nondiscrimination laws (from medical to housing to banking to#employment to just hate crining us) and where i still have that same level of fear inside my own home because of my parents#isnt the same experience as a lgbt person making a limp wrist joke or making a joke at a fictional story that you personally dont like#if youre sensitive to that its fine whatever every LGBT person is different and has a different experience and shit.#block if it makes you that uncomfortable or scroll and move on#but giving other queers grief and anger because of how THEY joke or talk?? get a fucking life and stop bitching about mine lmao
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personal stuff under the cut, mostly just rambles
I can't remember the last time I had that close of a call with a tornado 😅 one touched down less than a mile from my new place that I just got less than 6 months ago and scared the shit outta me when a big branch hit my window
thankfully all is good now and just barely missed the worst of it but MAN my anxiety is through the roof lol thank goodness I don't work tomorrow
#im gonna veg out and play video games all night now i think to relax#of course this happens when im catsitting for my grandmother#thankfully i had enough gas to get to my parents house bc the new place has no basementttt#hope the backdoor doesnt blow open bc its held together by zipties atm and i really dont want my ps5 stolen#also hope the place isnt ruined bc uhhh i dont have insurance and it took all my savings to get ahahaha
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tried to turn my manga shelf into a stroudathan shelf and it did NOT work
#not pictured: my bartimaeus books that are held captive at my parents house#it would work out fine if not for screaming staircase
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😳 so um bc of my parents I’ve actually been to multiple calls bc they are first responders and a few of them have actually been to dead bodies so I can actually answer this in a weird way but I don’t have any reaction at all. like I’ve seen things most people normally would never see like overdoses,self inflicted gun shots, car accidents, burns. I saw brain matter for the first time in like 2018(?) it’s a weird ass consistency tbh it’s also not the color you’d expect.
we still get immediately shoved out of our immersion in tv shows or films when The Girl find a dead body and immediately shrieks - we just don't find it realistic because we're pretty confident most people would gasp rather than shriek (i.e. sharp inhale rather than sharp exhale) and it also feels unnecessarily (and predictably) misogynistic too, as men encountering corpses almost never do the same on screen
also of course please do tell us if you've actually encountered a corpse unexpectedly, because tumblr is absolutely a place where some people have done this thing and we love a good anecdote
suddenly imagining "burst into song" as a potential response
#recently my parents were out of town and I happened to hear there was a call for our next door neighbors and I went to check on them bc#I know the female that lives there is pregnant and I wanted to make sure she was ok and their friend was actually dead on the couch and they#were panicking really bad so I stayed to help them/calm them and I was the one who pulled them to the side and gently told them that he was#gone and I held their baby so they could have a moment to themselves cause she was shaking really bad cause of all the emotions#I don’t know how he passed I just know that he was long gone before they even found him#so yeah in a weird way I have an answer and it’s that I really don’t have any reaction to it but it’s cause of how I grew up#also i personally think that house is cursed bc when we moved here the original couple that lived there the wife died in her sleep and the#husband didn’t notice for hours somehow. idk I just remember me and one of the cops taking their multiple kids outside so they didn’t have#to see their mom like that and then their dad have the breakdown that he had#there’s been alot of people on my street that have died since we moved here tbh it’s fucking weird
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